First Step

Good morning. I wonder if anyone actually reads this or if I'm just typing to myself. Regardless, this morning I left Bob and Malcom in Missouri and headed home. It was a painful departure because Bob and I have an especially close friendship. After playing and singing the other night around a campfire (gosh I was in heaven!) he and I sat and talked until 1 a.m. He said something to me that was like a light bulb being turned on. He asked me - why is it so important to sell the houses. My answer was because it closed a very painful chapter of my life and because I wanted to get on the road full time. Then he said...Donna, that pain and those memories will still be with you after you sell the houses. Dang - he was right! So, this morning, I'm heading home and will spend some time healing from the losses and will not make any decisions until I can think of Oklahoma without feeling lost and alone. Because I have spent the last 20 year taking care of people and making sure their grief was bearable, I have never actually grieved for myself. I've been on hold for 20 years and now, I just need to take care of me. So this slow mosey has taken a different turn. Its no longer about finding the next place to camp or visit, but about finding me. peace, love and a the enjoyment of a very rough bridge in Kansas City that made the van bounce up and down, WHEEEEE!!!.